NONI AYANA DISCUSSES WHY SO MANY WOMEN ARE SINGLE. PLUS!!! HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR SEXY SELF!

10PM SUNDAYS INSIDE w/Noni Ayana on Orange Room Radio

**WHY SO MANY WOMEN ARE STILL SINGLE OR STUCK IN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS**

PLUS!!! HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR SEXY SELF!**

DID YOU MISS THE SHOW? CLICK PLAY AND LISTEN TO NONI AYANA NOW!!

ADULT CONTENT FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

WHAT DO MEN WANT?

10PM Sunday, December 28, 2014 on INSIDE w/Noni Ayana *Live Stream Internet Radio* on Orange Room Radio

www.live365.com/stations/bealstreet

‘WHAT DO MEN WANT?’

Plus!!! What women think men want, what men really want but won’t say, what men DON”T want,  AND…..fellatio instructional!!!

A GREAT SHOW FOR SINGLES AND COUPLES!!!!

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CHECK OUT MY OTHER BLOG POSTS!!!

**listener discretion advised adult content for mature audiences only**

WHY MEN DON’T KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT

10pm Sunday November 16, 2014 Live Stream INSIDE w/Noni Ayana on ORANGE ROOM RADIO

10PM SUNDAYS www.live365.com/stations/bealstreet 

MISS THE SHOW? Click PLAY to listen NOW! 

‘WHY MEN DON’T KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT’

Adult Content for Mature Audiences Only

*featuring special guest*

Karen D. Young

Karen D. Young is a 30 year old Atlanta, Georgia native with 10 years of work experience in real estate and she is in the final stretch of completing her Masters of Science in Real Estate at Georgia State University. After completing her Masters, she hopes to delve into entrepreneurship of some sort and maintain real estate investing as a hobby. Outside of work and her studies, she is passionate about working with teens teaching life skills, encouraging self-esteem and healthy relationships, and preparing them for college, their career, and life in general. She has recently become more passionate about health and fitness and taken up running and she completed her first 5k in September 2014. Her take on relationships and gender roles are famously (sometimes notoriously) unconventional and she is known for her outspoken nature. She is single, never married, with no children, except an 18-month old black Labrador named Jackson.

Noni Ayana’s Dating Tips 101

WHERE

Choose a space allowing conversation with minimal distractions and interruptions. Your first date does not have to be dinner in a 5 star restaurant. A first date could be at the park (during the day), a café, attending a summer festival or a cork and canvas, even a museum; not a movie. A movie does not allow you to have real conversation. Your focus should be on getting to know your date. A double date first date is cool too; especially if you feel uncomfortable physically meeting someone for the first time. There tends to be less anxiety and awkward moments. The pressure is no longer solely on you, and another person of the group can always chime in if the conversation runs dry. If the potential date/partner doesn’t work out at least you would have possibly made some new friends.

Make sure it’s a public space. If it’s the first date let someone close to you know where you’re going and who you are meeting, then call your contact person when the date is over or when you’re on your way home.

NO WEEKEND GET AWAYS OR TRIPS OUT OF TOWN WHEN MEETING FOR THE FIRST TIME! I don’t care how great the convo is or how often you chat online; simply because you find yourself thinking you know him well enough.

First time dates should not meet at your home. Your new date should not know your address, social security number, bank account information, etc. Unfortunately everyone does not have good intentions. To maintain safety, limit how much personal information you provide or include in your conversation. Keep the conversation light yet meaningful. How often should you do this? I say for at least the first 3 to 5 dates. Sharing confidential information should be preserved for married couples, engaged couples soon to be married, or cohabitating couples.

WHEN

Whenever you feel like it. If you practice safe dating, it shouldn’t matter when you go out. After the first date, it’s fine to text or talk about how you enjoyed each other’s company. That’s great. However, give each other a little space. Allow some time to miss each other. Talking everyday can become uninteresting and boring, or routine and expected, and can sometimes lead people to feel obligated to move to the next level. Allowing space between dates and all communication keeps the interaction moving at a steady pace, not necessarily slow, but steady.

HOW

Date as if you’ve found a new friend not a potential spouse. Date many and often. Plus, sex does not always have to be included. Do not expect or require monogamy while dating. During this time you are getting to know the person and they are getting to know you. Dating (not fucking) many and often allows you to get to know yourself while simultaneously learning your likes and dislikes about people and relationships of all types.

Go Dutch! Ladies, there is nothing wrong with splitting the bill, and equaling the playing field. Having the man pay every time can lead to entitlement and many times women feeling obligated to give something in return. For many women the exchange usually involves sex. Expecting a man to pay for every date or intimate outing does not make him anymore a man, gentlemen, or potential perfect partner. It just means he paid. A woman paying for the date does not mean a man is weak or not worthy, and it does not mean you are anymore independent. Frankly a man paying for every date is entirely unnecessary. Yeah, I said it. If a man is just meeting you, why is he paying every time, when both of you are participants of the date? I understand there are many men raised to believe the man pays simply because it is the manly thing to do. I get it. If this makes you happy, fine, continue to pay for everything. However, sometimes the spending should be coming from the other end. That’s all I’m saying. I’m sure gender roles have a lot to do with this.

WHY

Do you know why you date? What are your dating goals?

  • Are you dating to make new friends?
  • Are you dating because your close friends and/or family wants you to date?
  • Are you dating in hopes to get married?
  • Are you dating because you are afraid to be alone?
  • Are you dating to seek a father figure or mother figure for your children?
  • Are you dating for the free meals?

As you can see there are healthy and unhealthy reasons why people date.

Your dating goals are not only for you to know, but also so this can be clarified to the person you are dating. Whether you realize it or not, why you date is eventually reflected in your behavior and ultimately effects and determines the type of relationship you will have with this new person you are attempting to know. Whatever your goals are, always seek to build healthy relationships. Healthy relationships lead to a more healthy you.

-Noni Ayana

 

The Effects of Feminism on Masculinity

Quotation-Mary-Wollstonecraft-empowerment-virtue-freedom-men-feminism-women-independence-morality-Meetville-Quotes-239430Although it should be common knowledge, I think when certain ideals are not confronted we tend to take certain matters for granted. Yes, men and women are different. Not just biologically or physiologically, but mentally and socially. And over time we have assigned roles to each gender, really as a matter of human survival. Much like a corporation or business company each employee is given a job description to reduce confusion and to promote organization; to maximize productivity and growth. At one point men were to hunt and kill for food, his physical build and strength was used to protect his partner and their offspring. These roles continued yet evolved throughout time. Now, women are the hunters so to speak. Women are the providers. She has the ability to buy (hunt and gather) food and use a number of options to protect herself and offspring. Men just don’t know what to do anymore. Let me be more specific about what type of man; men who practice more traditional ways of living. He is only familiar with the role of the hunter. Now days, women are more educated, make more money, are in positions of leadership and/or authority. So what is a man to do? He reverts back to being a boy, because his pathway to manhood has been obscured due to feminism. Ladies, do you find these types of men to be a bit more boy’ish. That’s because you are no longer his girl, his wife, his partner; he has reverted back to living with his mother. As we burned our bras were we burning a boy’s bridge to manhood? Although women have been provided more rights and opportunity this is still a male dominated world. Shahrazad Ali teaches it is the new-found strength of the Black woman who has led to the weakening of the Black man. However, one can also draw the conclusion the unrelenting evolution of male dominance may have caused its own downfall. If men were more willing to allow women to be involved in the development of society earlier on (speaking in context of the Americas) the evolution of women’s rights would not have been so “disruptive”. Instead men have been and still are quite reluctant to respect and allow women to exhibit her many capabilities and overall contribution to society. There is a type of man whom is very special indeed; the “male feminist”. He is an advocate of women’s rights. He is not concerned with keeping a woman in her place. He understands her value. He does not see her as a threat. He views her strengths as confirmation toward success, not the detriment towards his own. He is more self-aware and is more concerned with personal growth not measured against what is or is not socially masculine; yet is measured through personal standards, reaching goals and accomplishments having proven to be most productive and beneficial to him. In other words, her womanhood is not used as a tool to measure his manhood. -Noni Ayana c84917a70d2c09c1c0e781c504fa70d7

The Friend-Girl

caution-friendzone-ahead-48I just want to speak to the woman who is currently a man’s best friend. For some ladies, this may not even apply to you. But there are many women secretly man-crushing in hopes that maybe one day he will see you are the one he needs to be with. Why not tell him the truth?

Well, if you tell him the truth, you are now vulnerable and your friendship could be at risk. You all have such a great time together. You laugh together, drink together, and go to concerts, movies and dinner. Hell, he may even pick up the kids from school or talk to your mom and dad on the phone. He’s a great guy, and your girlfriends and family are wondering, why won’t ya’ll just get together already?

He fixes things around the house. You’ve even cooked for him. He stays over and he may make a joke or two about seeing you in your sleep wear, that you probably strategically chose to appear as the friend-girl but shows the features of a possible girl-friend. Still, he doesn’t make any effort to sleep in the same bed or even the same room as you. You may wake up in the middle of the night pretending to be concerned of a neglected household chore that happens to lead you to walk throughout the house. However, when you look for your “friend” you find he is much too comfortable for your taste; sleeping on the couch alone, instead of spooning you.

escape-the-friend-zoneYour thoughts are consumed with creating ways to make him a believer. You don’t even try to date other guys, because other men simply don’t compare to your friend, he’s got everything. If you do manage to meet someone new, the possibilities are limited. You will find something wrong and find relief in knowing your best friend is technically single. So you have a chance.

Your nights are lonely and disappointment sets in when he calls you late at night and it’s only to talk about one of his many failed dates that usually end in sex of course. You know him so well, you know just what to say to lift his spirits, knowing he can now sleep with the smile on his face because of you. As a result, you too feel uplifted, feeling you are one step closer to making your dream a reality.

WAKE YO ASS UP! That is all.

-Noni Ayana

2 Men & 1 Woman: Threesome or Train?

threesome1Oh, excuse me. I’ve been told the official label is “ménage a trios” which of course, I knew. No one calls it that anymore. The term is just too fancy, lol. For some reason when you say the word ‘threesome’ you automatically think 3 people having sex together. Not three people eating dinner, not three people watching TV, not three people playing a board game, or maybe that’s just me. Threesome is defined as, three of something.

On my radio show one of my guests described 2 women and 1 man as a threesome, but 2 men and 1 woman as a “train”. I was amazed to see how divided my listener’s reaction and responses were. My thoughts, the term “train” definitely has a negative connotation. Two men and one woman, allow the woman to be the center of this sexual experience. Traditional gender roles continue to limit female sexuality and does not approve of women indulging or expressing sexuality in such a way. Traditional gender roles in its own way attempts to control or limit female sexuality, and any behavior contrary to these well established rules of human survival would be deemed inappropriate.

The Urban Dictionary defines a train as a group of guys stand in a line outside a room. One by one, they enter the room to have sex with one girl inside. The line must have at least 7 guys to be qualified as a train.

“What’s this line for?”
“We’re running a train! Go to the back of the line.”

Who the hell came up with this definition lol!!!!

Two women and one man imply this particular experience is for the man to indulge, which is socially acceptable, even if the two women become intimate. I also find that men whom use the term “train” tend to view women in the more traditional gender role. These same men tend to be most likely to take part in a so-called “train”, and will quickly label a woman as a slut, whore, or skank, for allowing him to do so.

Any sexual behavior exhibited by a female that is seen to possibly threaten masculinity, his masculin image, or threaten a male’s chance of successful reproduction and lineage is rejected. Many women whom often fantasize of sex with two men are not willing to expose this fantasy to their partner for fear of judgment. Some men may feel threatened by this fantasy, fearing he may not be enough, the other man’s sexual ability may sway his female partner, or he may be homophobic, fearing the other man may attempt to become intimate with him.

From my personal experience, I find that heterosexual men whose masculinity is not easily (socially) threatened tend to be more open with their female partners, and in cad922038872d61b85c9d22c7e326744turn their female partners experience less judgment and tend to expose themselves more. In addition, these types of men are more likely to agree to a threesome with another man. However, these types of men seem to have peculiar challenges when in relationships. Some women simply can’t handle men with a heightened level of self-awareness; which interestingly are men whom tend to be less traditional and more adventurous. Tradition is predictable; nonconforming can be confusing, irritating, and even hated if not understood.

There is a difference between a woman who uses her sexuality to cope with internal suffering, to seek attention, or uses her sexuality simply because (she feels) she lacks value in any other aspect of her being; and an emotionally healthy and socially responsible woman whose sexuality is not necessarily a tool but a way of self-expression. She realizes who she is and is unapologetic. Both types of women are worthy of respect, but only one type demands it.

Different strokes, for different folks, literally.

-Noni Ayana

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