Men…is your marriage good if you’re cheating?

One of my biggest pet peeves is men not being truthful about whether or not they’re satisfied in their romantic relationships. Infidelity has become the norm. To the point that men will say their relationship or marriage is good, even though they are currently having multiple affairs with other women. This is not a matter of judgement. This is simply a matter of speaking and living the truth. Many men are not capable of being loyal to one partner. I don’t understand why people won’t just live the life they want to live. This may possibly mean not getting married, or at least being in a relationship that allows for partners to be intimate with people outside of their primary relationship. For some, this idea is damn near blasphemous. Yet, we all seem to be okay with breaking vows, living double lives, and being deceitful toward partners. We seem to expect this level of disloyalty, especially from men. Women must always maintain this image of belongingness.

What’s really going on? Why do men get married? Many say because at some point a man must settle down, have a family, and a woman who will take care of him. This ideal seems very man-centered. I rarely hear men speak of their significant others as someone they really like and enjoy being with. Not necessarily love, but simply like. There’s a difference. Even you may have family members or friends you “love”, but you all don’t spend much time together because you don’t “like” them.

Many men marry women they feel will fit the gender role. This expectation is problematic because it denies a woman’s individuality; she is dehumanized and desexualized.  Maybe this is why men cheat. Men are sexually driven by women.  Men are not sexually driven by wives. Think about it. #heterosexualisms

~Noni Ayana

For one to one consultations with Noni Ayana visit www.erisllc.org 

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