When He Doesn’t Get Along With His Mother

(Based on personal experience, the experiences of loved ones, and clients and/or people who I have worked with)
 
Men that do not have a healthy relationship with their mother (especially during their youth), often experience highly dysfunctional romantic relationships with women. They are sometimes abusive, bitter, fear rejection or abandonment, hyper-masculine, controlling, unable to commit, sexually inappropriate or irresponsible, or will sometimes use their sexual prowess as a tool of manipulation.
 
Unhealthy signs:
Will use expletives when referring to his mother.
Will say things like, my mother “doesn’t care about me”.
When the mother seems to show fear toward her son.
When the man refuses to have any type of relationship with his mother.
When the man views his mother as unfit to be a mother.
When a man says he cannot trust his mother, or he feels he cannot depend on her.
He resents his mother’s absence or lack of involvement in his life.
He blames most, if not all, of his shortcomings on his mother.
He says his mother does not love him.
 
If you are in a space which includes a man who does not have a healthy loving (with boundaries of course) relationship with his mother. Please be aware of the possibilities, and create realistic boundaries before moving forward. Self love is most important.
 
If you are this man, I suggest seeking support from your local counselor, therapist, or support group; recognize, acknowledge, and learn how to heal from your pain. Don’t let your pride get in the way of self-awareness, and learning how to maintain a healthy love for yourself and others.
 
~Noni Ayana

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