Here are a few characteristics I feel make a healthy romantic relationship.
What is a healthy (romantic) relationship?
Allows you to be who you are.
Does not hear to respond, but listens to understand.
Experiences varying types of intimacy outside of sexual intercourse.
Is willing to discuss relationship concerns although the discussion may cause some discomfort.
Is not passive aggressive.
Is not abusive in any way; physically, emotionally, verbal, or sexually.
Is not possessive.
Is not selfish.
Is not deceitful.
Allows you to be an individual within the relationship.
Is safe and non-judgmental.
Is pleasant and enjoyable, and for some passionate and exciting!
Is peaceful and understands how to work through disagreements.
Is not one-sided and often puts forth effort to consider another point of view.
Is loving and is not quick to anger.
A healthy relationship is viewed as a new experience and does not reflect on past relationships.
Allows accountability. Does not place blame but exhibits personal responsibility.
Allows for both personal and relationship growth.
Are you in a healthy romantic relationship?
Relationships that cause you anxiety, deplete your energy, overwhelm you, distract you from your purpose, feel exhaustive, are unhealthy and will drain the life out of you if continued to go unchecked or unresolved. It is imperative that partners effectively communicate. We live in a society more connected than ever, yet we are afraid to reveal our truth to those closest to us. Are there things you want to say to your partner? Are you afraid of your partners response? Express how you feel, without placing blame or using the word “you”. Seek relationship counseling, support groups, or relationship workshops. In other words be active in maintaining a healthy relationship.
Now! To be honest, there are relationships some people just don’t need to be in. We don’t listen to our intuition and will quickly say what behaviors we wouldn’t tolerate in other people’s relationship, but fail to recognize those same behaviors in our own. These same people go on to get married and ultimately feel trapped.
I don’t feel all relationships are worth saving. Especially when a person chooses to ignore the signs that often revealed how the relationship should have never happened in the first place. Don’t get caught up in the roles of the relationship. Attempt to get to know the person behind the role. Trust me, you’ll know if it feels right and you will know if it doesn’t feel right. Are you going to ignore the signs because you’re lonely or would you rather be at peace? What’s more important to you peace of mind, or a warm body?
“Your relationships are a direct reflection of your self-worth.” ~Noni Ayana