50 Shades of Grey’ish

A soft bite, a light choke of the neck, a slap on the ass, maybe a pinched nipple. What is your pleasure? So many in an uproar over this damn movie. Kink, erotic pain, BDSM (Bondage & Discipline/Dominance & Submission/Sadism & Masochism), has been around for centuries. How dare they attempt to display this type of sexual behavior within mainstream film (sarcasm). Notice many BDSM practitioners and even sexuality educators are in no hurry to view this film. Why, because films like these often perpetuate stereotypes of lifestyles and behaviors often misunderstood and misrepresented. Yet, the lack of knowledge among many is what fuels the hype of it all.

There are many levels of sexuality. There are many levels of personal sexuality. Who says sex is only proper in the bedroom? Who says physical sex is the only way to experience heightened sensuality and intimacy? Who deemed sex as only proper under the sheets, lights off, and in missionary position? Who says your sexual fantasy can never be your reality? What’s wrong with wanting to be tied up with rope and suspended into the air? What’s wrong with being teased with a feather or being paddled with a wooden paddle? What’s right with it, is the BDSM community mantra: safe, sane, and consensual. This is what matters. Positive sexuality is not one-sided. It is not manipulative. It is not deceiving. It is not abusive. Positive sexuality is effective communication. It is trustworthy. It does not shame or judge what happens between consenting adults.

There are many colors within the sexuality rainbow. Why not explore into the unknown? Fear. We are afraid of social abandonment. Many will come to me and tell me of how they feel something is wrong with them, because they want types of intimacy and sexual experiences that their inner circle would consider as inappropriate or find difficult to understand. What they want is not considered “normal”. What is normal?

I say 50 shades of grey’ish because many of us have our limits, and the ability to become unbound. Experience another shade. Maybe another shade will add years to your life, improve your relationship, excite and improve your sex life, give you something to look forward to, relieve stress, put a smile on your face.

What shade are you?

Noni Ayana

One thought

  1. Noni, I think I need to a new shade of gray. I feel I am in need of taking steps to further reach out and learn more. Reconnect with some of my younger days in a good and safe way. First need to find a trustworthy partner. I have stayed abstinent closing in on a year. But I’m ready to change that.
    I have a hunger to feed the sapiosexaul in me, so I can release the physical sexual body. I know it going to take time. I know I may have to interview several individual woman. Before I decide to be truly intimate. I have a lot of questions. And in due time I would like to know if I may ask of you, these questions.

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