Feeling Sexy

_MG_8612 croppedHow do you feel sexy, when we all live in spaces dictating practically every movement of our being? Many may view sexuality as evil, and no one wants an image associated with the opposite of all things considered proper or virtuous. From the day you are born, there are expectations. Many of these expectations are social, public, established, to ensure or prolong survival. So we create labels accompanied with definitions underlined in judgment. What is a hoe? A “hoe” in many cultures is a person whom is considered easy to attain, promiscuous, disloyal, or sexually irresponsible. Whom is sexually irresponsible; perhaps, a person considered to have too many sexual partners, a person whom does not consider the sexual safety of themselves or others. These labels help us choose partners according to personal goals. If a man seeks a potential partner to be his wife, he most likely will not seek someone labeled as a ‘hoe’, due to the words socially accepted definition.

What does this have to do with feeling sexy? Labels are also used to define individuality, and we internalize how society views us. We internalize the outward opinion or perception. A woman does not want to be seen as a hoe due to its social definition. She must end, not partake of, or exhibit ‘hoe’ like characteristics. She wants to present herself as stable, responsible, virtuous, loyal and is worthy of loyalty, or marriage. These characteristics are not often viewed as sexual, or are not traditionally sexually arousing. To prevent being labeled and stereotyped many women will become preoccupied with maintaining a non-sexual approach to men, to relationships, to life. How then, can she feel sexy, if she is consciously rejecting her innate sexual self for fear of rejection from society? She does so by defining her sexuality with the socially approved definition; of the surface, subjective, and often manipulated by greed and perverseness and an overall misunderstanding of sexuality.

Do you want to feel sexy? Do you want to become more in touch with your sexuality? You control your own emotions. You become more in control when it comes from within, as opposed to you being controlled. Comparing self to what is deemed superior only allows you to feel inferior. We want to feel desired, we want acceptance, and we continuously seek validation.

Here’s your first step to feeling sexy; try turning yourself on. Feeling sexy is less about what other people think of you, and more about what you think of yourself.

-Noni Ayana

2 thoughts

  1. that’s so important to make a link between women feeling sexy and community around
    there is many narrow minds can see women being sexy is bad or get misunderstand
    i think it is a matter of women self trust and no matter what is around …… my opinion

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