Women: Perpetuators of Shame

slutshaming2This week I have read many articles rotating throughout internet social media. All articles involving female sexuality. Reading through the comments I find women are highly opinionated and critical of female sexual behavior. The labels “whore” or “hoe” always seem to pop up within the comments.

Women care entirely too much about what other women think. Ladies, I’ve been commenting all week and I’ll say it again, you do not have to:

  • Continue with the façade that a big dick is the only type of dick that will give you sexual pleasure, especially if all this time it’s been hurting the hell out of your pussy.
  • Tell your girlfriends how good and big your partners’ dick is. Yes, your girlfriends may envy you, but she may also conspire to get his attention. He may even feel it’s his duty to share his awesome big dick because everyone knows big dicks are the best. If you’re not fucking a big dick, then you’re simply not fucking.

Are you feeling my sarcasm yet?

If you’ve paid attention, when it comes to a woman a man really likes or respects, he doesn’t brag about how good her pussy is to the next man. Hmmm, wonder why?

  • Be ashamed your man’s dick is not “big”. Although the term “big” is relative, if you are sexually satisfied and can be flipped around up to 101 positions with no concern of discomfort, why do you even care? Big may mean more, but not necessarily better. Similar to shopping for new clothes or shoes, chose the size that’s the best fit for you.
  • Tell your girlfriends how many sexual partners you now have or have had in the past. Although your girlfriends may have their own rotation going, this does not prevent them from shaming you for your sexual decisions.
  • Arrogantly boast about your best sexual position. Yes, even some women believe certain types of sexual positions or sexual acts are more “whore-ish” than others. (allow me to pause so I can give you the straight mouth and rolled eye)
  • Defend your sexual behavior. If you are a sexually responsible adult, why does it matter what you do or who you do? Why do you care what they think and why the hell are you exposing your sexual experiences in the first damn place?
  • Complain, belittle, or speak negatively about your man to your girlfriends. How disrespectful is that? Then again if you chose the right man for you, a man you respect and adore, even in his flaws, the chances of you complaining to others is highly unlikely.

To all women out there, young and older, the judgment is real. Some people do feel it’s a personal duty to make you feel shame. Guidance and constructive criticism shown out of love is one thing, condemnation and persecution shown out of discontent is another. Recognize the difference.


-Noni Ayana


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