Why do women change once in the relationship? Many men complain women present themselves as super sexy, seductive, maybe even porn’ish when first dating. Bras and panties match, mani’s and pedi’s are consistent and continuous, hair stays looking flawless; overall she seems to be more conscious of her appearance, how she presents herself to her man. Later in the relationship or shortly after being married, sex is not as often, no more spicy tricks in the bedroom, those are now preserved as only a treat for special occasions. Ironically her headaches and fatigue seem to appear at the exact time he wants to have sex. As time goes by, the relationship begins to grow, and she evolves. Unfortunately her evolution is more like a transformation, rather an unraveling, of what used to be his wet dream turned a ‘drought.
I think part of this issue is some women get too caught up in presentation and what it takes to lure a man in, versus self-evaluation and understanding her sexual identity. When in a space of attempting to captivate a man’s attention, the focus seems to be the strategy. Most women know what to do to get a man’s attention, yet find it feels like work to keep his attention. However, if the things you naturally do attract men, the strategy won’t feel like work, because it’s natural. It is who you are.
This is why I am a huge advocate of women understanding or at least becoming more aware of their sexual self perspective. As I have mentioned many times before, women are taught to undervalue sexuality. In other words the focus is mostly on what not to do, how sex and sexuality seems to be the cause of problems, especially for women. Women are not taught to embrace sexuality but rather to view it as an uncontrolled beast awaiting its female victims.
Unfortunately sex seems to be synonymous with male desire. Maybe this is also why some women slide down the slippery slope into asexuality, because sex is viewed as a man thing, not a woman thing; when in fact sex is for both men and women to enjoy.
Don’t be turned off by how you get turned on.
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