We do all we can to protect our young girls and women from the “uncontrolled” of society. We teach our girls to be virtuous. Well, we don’t really use that word very often; instead we tell them to keep their legs closed. We spew a few scriptures and presto; a virgin until marriage! We post apologues on our FB pages of a young lady describing a significant event which she lost control of her body. “He was smooth and he seemed like such a nice guy”. The story usually ends with, “now I know better”. Do you really? What have you learned; that women are the problem? The lesson being taught is, as long as we keep our legs closed, as long our attire isn’t scantily clad, as long as I know what to say and how to say it, as long as I carry myself as a lady, never promiscuous, never attempting to shame myself or my family, somehow I will be able to escape the throes of heightened male libido, hyper-sexual imagery of social media, my growing curiosity of sexual ecstasy.
We may not be saying it, but aren’t we? When we view a young lady as dressed rather provocatively? When we hear of a woman’s unchaste past, or of her debauched reputation; do we not in some way think she had it coming? Even I have experienced the look of disgust, the attitude of la-dee-da, as a single parent; As though I was the plague of the unmarried. Although the experience was many years ago, disdainful treatment of women by women remains the same.
There is no master route of navigation for the women of modern city. Although the bible is considered just that, interpretation is wide and many. You can be the most devout, the most ethical, of the highest moral fiber. This does not prevent your innate passion for lust, from desiring an erotic communion, or even the desire to expose your body in its natural state. There is nothing wrong with nakedness. It is the intent behind the exposure which should be questioned. This is why we are allowing babies to indulge in their nakedness, because we know there is no harmful intent.
We must be careful with the messages we send, when we focus too much on the behavior of the female, yet rarely teach boys and men to display responsibility and respect toward our girls and women. Ladies, we are so competitive, so busy trying to keep him from fidelity, from looking too long that we will verbally attack another woman in the blink of an eye. Just as one of the young men in the documentary Frustrated: Black American Men in Brazil says, “We love our boys, we raise our girls”.
When will we discontinue the stroking of male impropriety?