If you don’t mind I will be using African-American (AA) and Black interchangeably; for the politically correct peoples.
Is the African-American woman as mean as some men claim her to be? Are Black women saying, “I don’t need a man”? Why do some Black men prefer women of a different race or ethnicity? My recent viewing of the video “Frustrated: Black American Men in Brazil” has opened my eyes, to the desires and needs of Black men, yet also to the continuous perception of Black Women throughout the world. Some of these perceptions are stereotype and myth driven. Personally, I support interracial dating. I do believe love can be found in a variety of places and people. However, I do not support anyone denying a chance at love solely based upon anything other than a person’s character. Black women do know how to love, how to be supportive and compassionate; cultivate and foster successful platonic and romantic relationships.
I remember posting in a Facebook discussion when wearing my natural hair I attract a different kind of man as opposed to when I wear a weave. Note the difference. Yes, that’s me, lol. When I wear my natural hair, the men I attract are usually older (30+), established, business owners, earthy, appreciative of diverse forms of art, etc. When I wear a weave, the men I attract are usually younger (30-), urban, a bit more materialistic, more concerned with image and status.
What a difference hair makes! No wonder hair is such a big deal for so many women!
This is a clear example of how perception changes and it certainly does as it relates to Black women in general. What do Black men see when looking at a Black woman? Yes, he sees her physique, the external image presented. When she speaks, what does he see? Does he see her continuous struggle for equality, in the workplace, in education, in fashion, in media, in earnings, in society? Is this why Black women are perceived as mean, cold, argumentative, and unloving; when the influence of Hip-Hop continues the plague of hypersexual images of Black women? The most prominent images in social media are of Black women fighting and perpetuating materialistic and status driven ideals.
In the aforementioned video (and I paraphrase), a man describes African-American women as not knowing their role. Another man says African-American women are superficial, only concerning themselves with money and the accumulation of things. Some Black men feel as though the independent AA woman has less time and frankly the inability to tend to a man as he may wish.
Whatever the case may be, more and more Black men are going elsewhere. I will not co-sign to the idea that Black women are incapable of loving Black men. African-Americans share this inner racial issue, still learning how to love each other, while simultaneously living in a society founded upon hating what is misunderstood.
Can I speak on the colonialist induced mentality of Black men when attracted to non-Black women? Something to think about…