Parental Denial: Just because ya’ll ain’t talkin don’t mean they ain’t…….

pregnant-teens-two-girlsParents, you are inadvertently teaching your teen about sex. I have worked with teens in the non-profit and for-profit sector many years. Although social media continues to hyper-sexualize everything from cars to diapers, I still find parents do not have in-depth discussions about sex with their teen. When I say talk, I’m not talking about “the talk”, because the word “the” implies only 1. No you need to have many talks and often. Not a lecture, a discussion in which all involved are allowed the opportunity to express opinions in a non-judgmental safe space. Your teen’s level of understanding grows and changes as they get older. sex_ed_antiposter_440So if you are not regularly talking to your teen about sex, you are teaching your teen that sex is not to be discussed; which often leads to self-discovery, which can lead to unnecessary and unfortunate consequences. If you have a teen daughter wouldn’t you rather she be educated and ready with knowledge than to learn from some random man or boy that’s so horny he just wants to poke a hole? If you have a teen son wouldn’t you rather he be properly sex-educated than him learning from the latest hip-hop artist.

RICK ROSS – “U.O.E.N.O.”Lyric: “Put molly all in her champagne, she ain’t even know it/I took her home and I enjoyed that/She ain’t even know it.

KANYE WEST – “NEW SLAVES”Lyric: “Fuck you and your Hampton house/I’ll fuck your Hampton spouse/Came on her Hampton blouse/And in her Hampton mouth

B.O.B – “WE STILL IN THIS BITCH”Lyric: “Fuck your team where the freaks at
Hundred deep in VIP niggas always hatin
I came in with a bunch of goons and I’m leavin out with this lady
I got your boo in my Bugatti she bout to swallow my babies
My system loud my weed loud no hair clippers I’m faded TRIPPY”

united_statesThe following lyrics serves as sex-education for many, male and female. The reality is your teen may be engaging in all types of sexual activity you haven’t even thought of yourself as an adult and “U.O.E.N.O”. Media is going to do what it does. Why, because its money driven. However, as a parent you need to do what you’re supposed to do. Don’t assume your teen isn’t doing anything because your teen is not telling you anything. Don’t assume your teen is telling you everything. I also understand many parents have their own hang-ups about sex, which makes it even more difficult to discuss sex with their own children. I get it. You have to find a way to get over that because your teen’s life depends on it.

-Noni Ayana

If you are looking for tips on how to approach and discuss sex with your teen, please feel free to contact me or your local sexuality educator, counselor, or therapist.

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