Old reliable: A woman’s story

There once was a man totally in love with me. He wasn’t the perfect man for me though. On the surface, from the outside looking in, he seemed like the kind of guy you’d want to be in a relationship with. We would see each other and spend time together, but I knew deep down I really didn’t see myself with him long-term. He often complained that I never spent enough time with him, and if I did, I would see how he’s the guy for me.

lc1Yet in reality, I saw in him everything I needed to see. He was basically a good guy but had characteristics I knew I wasn’t willing to tolerate. When I wanted company I called him. When I wanted intimacy I called him. When I wanted sex, I called him. When I didn’t want to be bothered I didn’t call. I’d only respond to him when he responded to me. Most times he initiated communication, and to be nice and not come across as some mean bitch I would respond because overall he’s a nice guy. Truthfully, I had time. I just didn’t want to spend it with him.

There were many times I had nothing to do at all. There were times I spent my time with someone else. To him I was always too busy to spend time with him, because that’s what I’d tell him. I have things to do. I have a meeting. I have extra work to do. I’m meeting with my girlfriends. I promised a friend I’d help with something. I always had an excuse. I was hoping somewhere between the lines he would realize nothing more is going to happen between us. He’d pick up the hint that I am unreliable and I am outwardly showing how unreliable I am and this is proof we have no future. Yet I couldn’t actually bring myself to say those words to him face to face. I had no interest in meeting his close friends and family or his attempts at public displays of affection.

I was clearly avoiding him, yet using him when I felt like having him around because although I treated him that way, I knew he’d be there for me. He may have not been the best man for me but he was certainly reliable, he always answered his phone, he always made time for me.

So I say to anyone in a similar situation, how can hidden messages be seen? Many times you don’t want to hurt feelings or you get caught up for selfish reasons. If the feeling is not mutual give the gift of release. Old reliable is better off without you.

-anonymous guest feature