Southern Black Women and Interracial Dating

black-woman-white-man1Throughout time black women have always proven to be loyal to the African-American community. Increasingly becoming more educated, financially capable, socially relevant and independent, black women continue to be recognized as the backbone of many families, communities, workforces, and entrepreneurship’s. Media often details the increasing numbers of black men being killed, incarcerated, in the closet, or coming out of the closet. So where are the single (relationship worthy) black men? Does he have to be black? Why aren’t more black women dating outside of their race? Particularly in the south black women seem to be all too caught up in finding the perfect black man. My guess is many southern black women have little to no close relationships with people outside of their race; and given the historical treatment of black women in the south, minimal contact with those outside the black community is justifiable. Yes, racism continues to exist, but I dare to say there are non-African-American men willing and wanting to date a good woman, which happens to be black. Yet how would you know, if your inner circle, the world as you know it never changes? This is why many prospective college students choose colleges away from home; employment is sometimes sought out-of-state or out of the country, etc. For a woman having never explored life and people outside of her created “safe space” new can be scary or at least highly uncomfortable. A black woman may ask, “What would I have in common with a white man?” Who’s to say because both partners are of the same race you’d have more in common? I don’t think the lack of interracial dating among black women is about loyalty than it is more so about fear of the unknown. Single men of all races, socio-economic status, ages, and backgrounds are everywhere. It’s about choosing a man’s character that is the best fit for you. If he loves you, treats you how you want to be treated, and you feel the same way why does his ethnicity/race matter? I get it, some want to stay true to the Pan-African movement. Many black families would not approve a family member dating or especially marrying someone non-African-American. I understand this type of influence can be very strong and intimidating. Many feel the black community is too divided within itself, and therefore feel it’s within the community’s best interest to only marry within, further strengthening and unifying black people. singleBut if some of these relationships are not working, resulting soon in divorce, domestic disputes, and unstable single parent homes then there is no strength; there is no unity, only more division. I’m not saying dating outside of your race is the cure-all, but it opens doors, provides a new perspective, and encourages respect for differences in people and cultures. More importantly interracial dating expands your dating pool. Expanding your mind, may increase your chances of finding love.


-Noni Ayana


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