Fear of conceiving a BLACK MAN

mamaafricaI have lived in this world for many years.

I understand what people like, what people love, what people adore, what people hate.

I observe behavior towards ideals, concepts, and perspectives.

I think about the possibilities, I try to have hope, I attempt to conquer.

As a black woman, when my man makes love to me it is the essence of humanity. Through our sexuality we are closest to the earth. It is very natural, authentic, and real.

But when I conceive, if our coming together brings to this world another black man, my hope evolves into a concern many others cannot identify. Others cannot relate.

This black baby will grow into a black boy into a black man. As close as he is to the earth, as ancient as the black people, he is still yet to be recognized as a man of significance, a man of morality, a man of strength, a man of dignity.

I have grown to appreciate the differences in all people. I am aware of society’s diversity. I grow slower to judge. Understanding like me, your story is like no one else’s. However…..

tumblr_mqr3bjxPw71s1rj0fo1_500I love the black man. He is my father, he is my brother, and he is my uncle, my high school boyfriend, my teacher, my lover, my husband. Yet I sit and wonder at the thought of conceiving something so beautiful, precious and unique, yet in many ways undervalued and often misunderstood. 

A people continuing to seek validation since first arrival into the Americas. How do we progress when we are so far behind? I salute all having raised and now raising a black man, for your journey is uniquely challenging. My hope is you teach him how to survive in this world, not in defense, but teaching him that society does not determine his value. Oh no, we have allowed that for too long.

He determines his value. Often distracted by the shiny things. What about your character? Who are you really? Another puppet of society? Control yourself. Don’t be fooled, manhood is not about a ball, the streets, your money, your endless rotation of female conquests. No I am not a man, and yet to have conceived a black boy. As a black woman I can tell you what I would want to deep-thoughts-2-val-black-russian-tourchinexperience. Self respect, self-sufficiency, a man who knows how to love his family, his partner, himself. He is not quick to anger over foolish things. He not only takes care of his family, but the people around him. He is respected, admired, and honored. He respects his heritage by continuing an esteemed legacy.

Yes, he is human, he will make mistakes. Ah, but the world, the world should see him as I see him; intelligent, beautiful, strong, and worthy.

-Noni Ayana

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