A little BDSM won’t hurt….or do you want it to?

Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism is often perceived to be an alternative lifestyle for BDSMthe extreme freak. For all of those who claim they’re not into the kinky stuff; well, you just might be and as hip-hip artist Rocko says ‘you don’t even know it”. You never know what people are doing behind closed doors.  FYI, it’s not always the women playing the submissive role. There are men looking to be not necessarily controlled, but dominated. There is a difference. Just for when things get out of hand, so to speak, the BDSM community created the “safe word”. The Urban Dictionary defines a safe word as a word (usually irrelevant and strange in the context of the sexual situation) agreed by the participating parties to cease the activity. This is so that the submissive partner(s) can say “stop” and “no” as often as they want during the session and use the safe word when they actually mean it. What is your safe word?

A study shows the following behaviors to be associated with BDSM play (Williams, 2006).

Anal sex

Bondage/Restraints

Body suspension

Breath play (Erotic asphyxia or hypoxyphilia)

Caning (hitting with a thin stick)

Catheters

Clothespins and clamps (attached to various parts of the body)

Cockbinding

Conventional sex toys (vibrators)

Cuttings (superficial)

Dildos

Electrical play (with medical TENS unit or violet wand)

Face slapping/humiliation

Fire play (fire quickly applied via alcohol solution and extinguished on bare skin)

Fisting (careful insertion of a hand into the vagina or anus)

Flogging/Whipping

Gags

Hoods

Hot wax (dripped on skin)

Ice

Knife play (used for surface play to evoke fear, excitement)

Mummification or immobilization

Needle play (carefully inserted under the outer layers of skin)/piercings

Role play (teacher-student, doctor-patient, police-criminal, etc.)

Spanking

Skinbranding

Vaginal sex

Weights (attached to piercings, nipples or genitalia)

Oh my! It hurt so good? Anywho, I had the pleasure of interviewing Pro-dominatrix and specialist in erotic pain Ms. Lady D.  She describes BDSM and/or EROTIC PAIN as a healthy sexual lifestyle that should consist of the following three: SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL. Watch and learn…

Williams, DJ. (2006).  Different (Painful!) Strokes for Different Folks: A General Overview of Sexual Sadomasochism (SM) and its Diversity. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity,13:333–346, 2006. DOI: 10.1080/10720160601011240.

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