good men quoteWomen have been fooled into believing there are no “good men” available to date and/or marry. We must realize the world is bigger than the city we live in, the restaurants and clubs we patron, the church we attend, and the office where we work. Good men are everywhere! However, the term “good man” is relative. A good man to me may not be a good man to you. What is a good man? How many stories have we heard of women being physically abused, yet she continued to claim he was a good man. Her idea of a good man, his “potential” is what kept her in the abusive relationship. Holding on to the thought of how good a man he could be if he just…

Maybe, just maybe, we’d have more available good men, if we had more women with standards. Are women not as selective as men these days? I find men to be very specific about what they want. Whether looking for sex or a wife. In many major cities, women outnumber men, causing fierce competition among women. Why have standards if the next woman can have him just as easily as I can? So we do away with standards such as making him wait for sex. We allow men to move in after knowing him for days. We buy him clothes, jewelry, and cars, without him having contributed at all. We are okay with him being inconsiderate of our time and our space, because “good men” are hard to find. The sacrifice women make to avoid being lonely.

Time to question yourself and be honest with your answers:

Is he good for me? Does he fit into my life, my plan? When I am with him do I feel as though my life has improved or has satisfaction with life declined? Am I really content or am I in a constant state of hoping he will change?

imagesCA2YB2QKDoes a good man have a job, a car, and money in his savings? Is that what it takes to be labeled as a good man? Are good men in jail? Do good men cheat? Do good men kill? Do good men abuse women and children? Do good men rape? At some point in his life somebody thought he was or still thinks he is a good man.

What is a good man for you? We must look beyond the surface and see a man for what he really is and base your decision on what he is, not on what he could be. If you needed emergency surgery, would you rather have someone who dreams of being a surgeon or someone whom practices as a surgeon?

-Noni Ayana

3 thoughts

  1. Am I a good man?
    I do not know the answer to that question. I do know that I have NEVER physically abused anyone that I was in a relationship with. Nor have I stolen from them or taken advantage of them. I have on the other hand, lied to them, cheated on them, and in more than one instance, deceived them into believing that I loved them when I clearly did not.
    It was a flaw on my part. A stunted emotional growth, or an unwillingness to grow, that made me refuse to try to truly connect with another human being.
    I hurt a lot, and in the process hurt a few people. And for this I truly apologize. It is my life’s regret.
    Am I a good man? I don’t know.
    But hopefully I’m on the road to finding what that is…

    • Curtis,

      It seems as though you are on a personal quest for redemption. I don’t know if you’re a good man. However, I feel how you treat others and yourself is a good indicator. Learning from your mistakes. Continuous self analysis. Making life decisions in the name of progress and growth. These are tools that allow you to focus on the goodness within yourself and people will see the light in you. Wanting to be better and treating others how you would want to be treated; being considerate. Meeting people where they are and understanding their humanity. Knowing how to say no to unhealthy relationships. There are many advantages to single-hood. Sometimes we are with someone simply to rid ourselves of the loneliness. This is not fair to you or the relationship. Lying, cheating, deception are all unnecessary behaviors that are side effects of a deeper issue.


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