Sex Boundaries:You want me to do what?

Backdoor_Open_WideIt seems most heterosexual men are very specific about what sexual acts will not be performed on them. Usually it involves anything related to anal play, lol. Well at least that’s what they say. We never know what goes on behind closed doors. Other than that, most men are game for whatever. Women, however, have bodies that are virtual playgrounds; so many voluptuous body parts to tease and tantalize. A hard dick has options; the mouth, the anus, the vagina. With so many options providing orgasmic pleasure, a man’s mind can become very creative. Just because her body is similar to an amusement park, doesn’t mean you have access to all rides. Some rides, you have to meet the size requirement. Some rides, you may only be allowed to ride once, and sometimes the most frightening ride can end up being the most fun and exciting. Let’s get on again! *hands in the air*

painful%20sexual%20positionLet me explain further. We all have sexual boundaries. Well…we may have a few willing to do anything and everything. *applause* Still, many women are very aware when sex gets uncomfortable. Whether she communicates her discomfort is a different story. Women will often endure pain, feeling it’s her duty to please her man. Unless this is “erotic pain”, consensual and safe, there is no justification for pain or discomfort. Sex is supposed to feel good. If sex didn’t feel good, there probably wouldn’t be as much fucking going on. Sure, I meet women that don’t give head, some don’t know how, and not in a hurry to learn. Contrary to popular belief, all men don’t want their dick sucked. Many women find it uncomfortable, messy, and frankly too much work. As mentioned earlier, many men and women only have an exit sign placed at the anus. Many women don’t like the taste of semen “cum” and absolutely refuse to taste or swallow it when giving head, and “some” men don’t want to kiss you afterwards.

1345322933062_7624314My point is, if you have sexual limits, it is important to effectively communicate your boundaries to your partner. At the same time, don’t assume you know what your partners boundaries are if those boundaries have not been communicated to you. Your girlfriends or your boys don’t need to know the details of your sexual life. This is where many people get themselves in trouble; close friends judging your sexual prowess. I’ve seen many people on social networks urging women of  sexual acts a woman must perform to keep her partner. I don’t know what your partner wants from you, so I can’t tell you what sexual acts you absolutely must do.  A safe, less judgmental approach, as a sexologist, would be for me to recommend how to find out for yourself. After all this is to improve your sexual experience, not for me to impose my sexual preference on you.

-Noni Ayana

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