Pornography: The Reality of Sex

couple-silhouetteIn August my next symposium topic is ‘positions & technique’. I feel it necessary to probe the female sexual psyche. Why do women find it difficult disclosing their sexual needs or discomfort? A woman may feel it is her duty to give pleasure at any cost. Even if it means experiencing pain or discomfort. NO MA’AM! There are many representations of sexuality that are partly to blame. I understand many people enjoy viewing pornography and find it beneficial when looking to enhance the sexual experience. So I will leave the colorful world of porn to the viewer and his/her aroused genitalia.

black-and-white-couple-naked-sex-Favim_com-131799_largeMany people seem surprised when I confess to not being a fan of pornography. What? Because I study sexuality does not necessarily mean I participate in all things sexual. Many people learn how to have sex from watching pornography; which is a problem in itself. A man may think he wants a porn star. A woman may think she has to become one to fulfill her partner’s needs. Unfortunately this mentality is based upon an unrealistic, greatly edited, phantasm of sexuality.

Your sexual experience is unique to you. Your technique may not be porn-star’ish, but that doesn’t make you less of a sexual being. You can give and receive pleasure beyond your wildest dreams by simply understanding and meeting your needs and your partner’s needs.

5270d35d35812b03468d2d857dab5553a1Men, don’t assume your penis is a treat for all women. For some it was a trick. Get to know your partner before assuming you can please her like all the others: the women who never told you the truth. She is not a porn star. So there is a chance she doesn’t want her head banging against the headboard, she does not want to be put in positions that may cause her spine to be compromised, and she may not want her clitoris rubbed and rolled until it is literally afraid to peep out from the clitoral hood. Ladies, be honest, if you can’t take a huge dick than you’re better off with a partner sized just right for you. You don’t have to prove how much you can take, to anyone. If you are uncomfortable in specific sexual positions, make your concerns known. Verbally express your concerns in a way that is non-offensive and leaves your partner’s dignity intact. Believe it or not, all women don’t suck dick and all men don’t eat pussy. I know (pause) it’s baffling. All women can’t take it from the back or ride dick for an extended period. All men are not able to maintain an erection. There are women diagnosed with physical conditions; making sex extremely difficult, physically painful, and emotionally challenging. Without the proper support system, guidance, and counseling, actualized intimacy can seem impossible.

In essence, sexuality is as limited as you allow it to be. As I stated earlier, I have sexual boundaries and so do you. Recognize what your sexual boundaries are; they are the key to sexual satisfaction. Comparing your sexuality to another is pointless, your partner chose you. Use that to your advantage.

-Noni Ayana

10pm EST SUNDAYS on Orange Room Radio www.live365.com/stations/bealstreet

Facebook:http://facebook.com/noniayanashow

IG:the_noniayana

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