Me and my crew were at the Atlanta Jazz Festival at Piedmont Park today, handing out INSIDE w/Noni Ayana flyers. Every event I’ve given out flyers, I always run into a few people that will:
1. Say no thank you without looking or even knowing what the flyer says
2. Say, “I got 3 kids, I don’t need to know anything about sexuality”
3. Flirt with me (guys) simply because I’m a sexologist
4. Assume my flyer is another music or party flyer
5. Ask what is a sexologist?
First, let me say, SEXUALITY is more than about “making babies”. Moving on…
Overall people kindly accept my flyer and keep walking. I find more single women; married and/or single men readily accept my flyer and even start a little chat. Married women seem to look at me with disdain, lol. Is it because I’m sexy and you know it? Are single women more open to discuss sexuality than married women? I always love the group of girlfriends, laughing and high-fiving each other over wine-coolers and beers, immediately questioning who I am and what I do. Do people still drink wine-coolers? Although possibly under the influence, for those few moments these women are genuinely interested in INSIDE w/Noni Ayana. I immediately respond with the same enthusiasm. I love when people want to learn, they’re curious and not afraid to ask questions.
One gentleman asked me, why do you feel there is such a disconnection between African-American men and women. Such a great question! I’m like, hell if I know; just kidding, lol. African-American sexuality is an entirely different realm. Why; because African-American issues are very specific to African-American culture. There is disconnect between the Black woman and the Black Man because Black people are continuously attempting to overcome disconnect between Black people and the rest of society. The stereotypes, the inequality, the injustice, the racism, are all struggles many if not all African-Americans face at one time or another since colonization; since slavery. African-American sexuality dates back to sexuality during the times of slavery. Yet, modern society shares the inheritance of a slave mentality, including slave and slave owner, and the challenge of new ideals. Gender roles are undefined or misunderstood. The Black family model has transformed. Non-traditional sexual preferences are gaining momentum, and religion continues to stand firm on the principles’ that have help carry Black people through many disturbing moments in time. Although I daily interact with people from many walks of life and ethnic backgrounds, I am fully aware that until Black people find the validation sought as a whole, we will continue to be disconnected, internally and externally. It begins with self-awareness. Thinking of the young lady that felt she didn’t need to know more about sexuality because of her many offspring. Maybe that’s the underlined problem. Too many people are thinking sexuality is just about the act of sex. Even the dictionary knows better.
sex [seks] – noun