I don’t know how many times I’ve read an article discussing how majority of women don’t have orgasms. I’ll admit I am somewhat a skeptic when it comes to these types of findings. I can’t say “majority” of women, but I can agree with “many” women are often distracted when engaging in coitus with their partner. After talking with both men and women, I have created a list of what I’ve found to be the most distracting.
1. Hair – When we step fresh out of the salon chair we are feeling like America’s next top model. We guard this hair from all rain, snow, hail, mist, wind, sweat, humidity, pretty much any type of head covering and other people’s hands. I wonder if there are any women that don’t have sex on the same day they get their hair done, hmmm. So you only position yourself upright. Occasionally you smack the hand and say DON’T TOUCH MY HAIR! Well….that’s sexy.
2. The Pudge– Mainstream media has indoctrinated the belief all women must have stomach’s that touch their backs. This is why we have a wonderful variety of “body shapers”. We suck our stomachs in and hold our breath as we walk through the club or restaurant and we look fabulous. All the while we are “waiting to exhale”. There are minimal ways to hide that nuisance of a pudge during sex. Face it; he’s going to see it. Try doing something that will take his (your) mind off your stomach and on to the skill set of your vagina……or your mouth.
3. Bad breath – What can I say? We all have our moments when our mouths are not, shall I say minty fresh. If you’ve been with your partner for a while I’m sure they’ve noticed. Just in case you had a rather pungent meal or it’s been a while since you’ve opened your mouth, keep a pack of mints or breathe “savers” in your purse, the drawer next to the bed, etc. I personally love the Ice Breakers Duo; they leave the mouth tasting sweet and great for kissing.
4. Fear someone will hear – You’re afraid someone is going to hear your moans and groans and ahhhs; the kids, roommates, parents, etc. This is an opportunity to get out of the bedroom and try other rooms that may be a bit more sound proof.
5. Ineffective contraception – Whether you’re trying a new form of birth control or loyal to the “trusty” condom, do your research and make sure whatever type of contraceptive you use is best for you and is used correctly.
6. Va-jay- jay is acting cray-cray – If you have an infection, an odd odor, or unusual looking discharge, DO NOT HAVE SEX. This is also why disease and infections spread so quickly, because many infected people are not seeking healthcare.
7. You’re cheating– No wonder you can’t focus, you’re worried about getting caught! If you know you bore easily, are prone to cheat or your partner is not satisfying you; talk to your partner!
8. Fornication – Sex outside the union of marriage may seem like a thing of the past for others, but for you it feels more like a guilty pleasure.
9. Alone and lonely – So you have sex with someone who you’re not even all that attracted to. It’s unfair to you and that person. Nothing wrong with just being friends. You can build relationships, not be lonely, and all together avoid “lonely sex”.
10. I believe one of the top reasons women don’t orgasm is because they’re afraid they may become pregnant. For some this may sound ridiculous, but for many it’s true. Many women don’t like the feeling or experience allergic reactions to condoms. Many don’t agree with taking contraceptives that interrupt the inner workings of the female anatomy. Often resulting in unprotected sex.
Every distraction on this list causes anxiety and stress. If sex is causing you more harm than good, I suggest you take some time to figure out what experience would be most pleasurable for you; this could result in either better sex, safer sex, or no sex.