Eager to Please

Eager to Please: Female Adolescents Finding Love

Time and time again I see young teen girls nearly give their entire self to a boy; as she runs away from mom and dad into the arms of the only one that seems to understand. Some parents may think, “how stupid, he doesn’t care anything about her” or “he only wants one thing”. Yet he can offer intimate attention mom and dad can’t, and because of this, she may feel the need to reward him with “herself”. What else does she have? The feeling she experiences with him is biological, seemingly animalistic, it’s humanistic. All she sees are parents not allowing her to grow up. She’s not a kid anymore, so she says. He makes her feel like the blossoming woman she feels she is. So what do you do? Most parents are looking for delicate balance between independence and dependence, between knowing she’s only a kid to allowing her to make her own decisions, from knowing when to hold on, to knowing when to let go. We wish parenting would be so easy. But if it were easy, we would not endure the challenges that make us the people we are today. We learn by being aware of our own behavior, and assessing the behavior of others.

Writing this post brings about emotions of nostalgia, thinking back to my high school sweet heart. I absolutely adored him. I remember that feeling of ecstasy. I felt high and anyone willing to take that away from me I hated. Although there will be times your teen may not agree with your way of thinking, children must experience laughter, forgiveness, joy, support, compliments, encouragement. Exchange the sensual high for an experience that cannot be duplicated, the beauty of the bond between parent and child.

-Noni Ayana

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