Note to Men Dating Single Mothers

Single parent households have dramatically increased over the past 20 years; whether never married, separated, divorced, or widowed, the experience of both mother and father in the home is special, unique, and in many ways rewarding.  However, for single mothers, life is much more complex and honestly for some, quite lonely. She is the primary caretaker, the sole bread-winner, sometimes fulfilling the role of mother and father.  Most if not all responsibility rest upon her shoulders, and as the child grows so does the challenges of single parenting; from total dependence of an infant, to the capricious toddler, to the pubescent adolescent, to the unmanageable and egotistical young adult. As she supports, consoles, and rears, who supports her? Single mothers are often portrayed and treated as super women. Do not mistake heroism for survival.

To men dating single mothers, she wants the respect and consideration of a man who will appreciate both her strength and her weaknesses. He will understand underneath her tough womanly exterior lies a little girl who wants to be protected, loved, and adored. Single mothers are special because she gives so much of herself yet receive little in return.

To men dating single mothers, treat her as if she is a red rose, intense in appearance, but if handled harshly, she may fall apart in your very hands. Your appreciation and respect is water keeping her alive and vibrant. For without it she starves for affection and withers from within. Be considerate, keep your word. Be honest and trustworthy. Her family may be your family, honor the privilege. If you are not ready for this privilege, due to its amazing and unique responsibility, bow out gracefully and with tact; every rose has its thorns. Single mother, if you are not ready to share your space, if you are fearful, bow out gracefully leaving your dignity intact.

To the man strong in preparation, marvel at her beauty, cherish her presence and she will bloom before your very eyes.

-Noni Ayana

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