I was recently inspired to write about a past experience of a close friend. She is a beautiful young lady. Progressive, established, and knows what she wants out of life, including relationships. However, she had experienced what many women have, the man who speaks commitment yet in reality is very afraid of the very thought. Like, haunted house afraid. Like, a vampire shielding himself from the sun afraid. Which is an interesting analogy, because single men tend to thrive at night. But when the “relationship” gets real, the light comes on, we then see everything for what it truly is. Really? People try to hide from reality? I felt for my friend-girl because she really fell for this guy and his feelings seemed mutual. He would compliment her saying, “you’re beautiful”, “you’re amazing”. Okay, that’s cool. Ladies, we like that. Later she finds herself using many of her anytime minutes, talking on the phone just having regular conversation. Over time regular conversation transitioned into conversations about relationship goals and future plans. She and this guy began spending time together, growing closer and more intimate. What makes this story even more interesting is the man usually leads the discussion about relationships, marriage, children. Saying, I really think you’re “the one”. He will even go so far as saying her name including his last name, awwwww. He says you’re everything I’m looking for. They laugh together, they cry together. Creating memories of this awesome moment in time of what seems like the greatest love of all. Just when she felt she could finally exhale he says, “I’m not ready”. What the hell? (oops, let me say it like a FB Christian) WTF? My question to him would be, did you not know this before? Was this strategy in hopes of a sexual relationship? If that’s what you want, wouldn’t that have been easier and less time-consuming to say that? I truly believe, down to the pits of my soul, that when it comes to women, men know exactly what they want. They may not always say it, but a man certainly knows when it comes to whether he wants to be in a relationship or not. This is not a fake it till you make it situation. Mixed messages are not cool. It only leads to lies and hurt feelings, typically experienced by the woman. That crap is what drives women crazy.
Don’t lead me on. As much as you want to play with my lady parts, I am not a toy. If you don’t want to be in a relationship than stop using your words or actions that insinuate otherwise.
I would really appreciate the male point of view. Please respond:) -Noni Ayana