What Do Children Really Know About Sex?

Hello people! We are now in the final quarter of the year. FYI, the next “Sister Symposium” has been pushed back to October. But don’t worry, this session will definitely be worth the wait! Remember, the topic, Woman in the mirror: Social influence on women and sexuality.

Anywho, I’ve been talking to many mothers about how to discuss sex with their children. This discussion can be an even more difficult task if the mother herself is somewhat inhibited or have never had the sex talk with her own parents. In these cases, just starting can be a barrier.  A great start is to get to know your child. Whether toddler or teen, mother and child should consistently develop a relationship in which you simply talk to each other. Parents remember, the more you talk, the less you are listening. Children are comfortable in safe spaces. A space void of judgement and harsh criticism. Your child will more likely come to you with an important question or for advice if they know you will listen and be willing to have an open honest discussion (and your emotions are in tact, lol). Is sex ever an easy topic to discuss with your child? Setting the scene will help. However, if you’re not talking to your child, someone is.  That someone could be other kids at school, media, unknown adults, the internet, and TV. Sex is everywhere! Parents can’t control everything, but you can certainly properly exercise the power you do have. Which is to consistently communicate to and with your child and gain an understanding of who your child is in efforts of designing the appropriate guidance. Do not underestimate/overestimate what your child knows about sex. Ask questions. Don’t make assumptions.  Be an active listener. Educate yourself and your child. If you’re not sure what to do, ask an expert. Someone specialized, trained, and/or certified in sex education, counseling, or therapy. When attempting to discuss sex, which part are you finding to be most difficult? -Noni Ayana

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